Constructive Interference

Have you heard of constructive interference? It is used to describe a ripple effect or energy fields that collide. You see, when 2 rocks are thrown into a pond at the same time, when the two ripple fields collide, they create an even greater ripple in the waves which increases the effect. But, if one of the rocks were thrown into the pond before the second rock, the second ripple field will cancel out the 1st ripple field, making it neutral.

This got me to thinking. . . Our friendships and relationships can act like positive interference or negative interference. When we have people around us who uplift us and encourage our dreams, and help us get to our goals, they act as constructive interference, and cause our waves and ripples to be even greater! We can be stronger and more effective in our message if we surround ourselves with positive and like-minded people.

On the other hand, if we keep people around who don’t support our dreams, or who are negative, or who we feel like we have to shrink around, they can cancel out our waves and ripples, and if we are not careful, we can let them hold us back from our dreams.

The same is true for our health goals, financial goals or any other area in our life. I am on a path to my dreams, and I am surrounding myself with people who can support me in that. Those who don’t are not bad people, I just don’t have the energy to spend with them right now. Do you have people around you that support you? I would love to support you in any way I can!

A Winding Road

Have you ever driven on a winding road that snakes back and forth, sometimes with hairpin curves and turns where you can’t see what is around the bend? Those of you in South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, or anywhere near those states know what I am talking about. Those backwoods roads where you never know what you are going to come up on. They are curvy and usually 2 lanes, with deer in the woods and other creatures that may pop onto the road at any time.

That is exactly what getting to your dreams can look like. A long winding road that seems to go on forever, where you never know what is going to pop up, and where there are a bunch of obstacles that you never imagined. And just when you think you are almost there, you blow a tire, or hit a pothole, and you are delayed a little bit more.

However, if you don’t keep going down that road, you will never know the amazing things that wait for you! The incredible life that is yours for the taking, the amazing joy and the wonderful abundance for you. It is not always easy, but it is so worth it!

Your health journey can be exactly the same. It can be a long winding road, it can be filled with roadblocks and potholes, and many unexpected things that you come up on; but if you keep going, if you breakthrough, it will be worth it. Anything in life worth having does not come easily. Just remember, you are worth it! You deserve to be healthy and have your dreams! Just keep going!

You are great!

Did you know that? Has anyone told you that lately?? Have you told yourself that lately? If not, why not? I feel like someone needs to hear this today.

There is nothing wrong with you, you are not broken, and you don’t need to be fixed. If there are thought patterns or habits that are not serving you right now, then change them. But don’t sit there and think that you are messed up, and please don’t think you are not amazing. You are incredible, you are awesome, you are great, and you don’t need anything or anyone else in this world to confirm that or to agree.

I am enough! Repeat that to yourself until you start to believe it. And then repeat it again and share with others. I.Am. Enough.Period!

Words

I am reminded today how much words can hold meaning. I say things sometimes that I don’t think about, and sometimes they can cause pain to those I love. That is not my intention of course, but then I can feel like I have to explain what I meant and defend myself. And then the old programs kick in, and I start to feel like I am not good enough and not wanted, and it goes down in this ugly spiral of hateful things that are lobbed back and forth like a tennis ball.

Not that this has ever happened to you and your significant other, but every once in a while, it happens to us and we will go at it. Why do we do that, you ask? Well, I feel like I am not being heard and not being understood, he feels like his feelings don’t matter to me, so we keep adding more words to “help the situation.” However, this seldom does help, and often makes things worse. Until, we come to a point where we both feel useless and like a failure in the relationship, and are emotionally hurt.

You see, I have everything I need in me to succeed, but I am not perfect in the sense that I don’t always remember that my husband does have my best interest at heart, and I don’t always remember to not take things that others say so sensitively. Which means, sometimes I get my feelings hurt, and sometimes I lash out, and sometimes I can hurt the ones I love. And hopefully, they know that I still love them, and I am a wonderful work in progress. And hopefully, I can remember that about them, too.

Nothing

So today I feel like I did nothing. I mean, I did get some laundry done, and painting, and made dinner; but compared to my busy, getting my list accomplished day, I did nothing. And, oh, it felt so good!

You see, I woke up this morning, and my body was a little sore from working out, and I was a little sleepy, and feeling a little worn out. I am human after all, and have my moments. So I decided to take a day to relax and listen to my body.

Self care is something I haven’t always done very well. I think we sometimes get so busy taking care of everyone else that we neglect ourselves. A lot of us do it. And then we reach a point where we feel like we are going to break, or we get sick, and we are forced to stop for a bit. But what if we learned to listen to what our body is telling us, and stopped for a bit when we needed the break, and learned how to take care of ourselves, including our mind.

I have been in a place where I literally thought I couldn’t take one more day, or act like I was interested, or tried to please everyone else until I thought I was going to burst. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown, and thought I was going to have to be admitted to the looney bin. I have realized that if I don’t take care of myself, I am not able to take care of those around me. It is not selfish to take a day or take an hour or two to yourself, and refresh and clear your mind, or just to recenter and rest. It is crucial that we listen to our bodies and take some time for self care. What have you done for self care lately?

Programs

Programs are little things that can cause a lot of heartache and havoc. They are pesky things that are hard to get rid of, and just when you think you have it under control, they rear their ugly head, and leave you reeling in shame.

What are programs, you ask? They are beliefs that we pick up as kids, and unknowingly take with us into adulthood. Maybe we were told we were lazy as a young person, or maybe we were told that we were not good at math. Or maybe we didn’t feel loved, or we felt we had to earn our parents’ love, so we take these beliefs into our adulthood. And then, what we do now as adults are based on those false beliefs.

For me, a big program I had is that I am not enough. I took this belief with me as I grew up, and so everything I did was done with that premise. I tried to please people, not rock the boat, and be the perfect person so that I could be enough. But nothing I did worked.

When I started on this personal growth journey, I realized that I have the power to change my thinking, and therefore change my beliefs. I can now believe I am enough, and that I don’t need to earn anyone else’s acceptance.

So today, I was faced with a situation, and I again felt like I wasn’t enough. But, I can now see that this is a false belief and recognize it when it comes. This journey of self growth is just that, a journey; and there are times when I feel like I can conquer the world, and then there are times when I am terrified of the future. And no matter what, I know I will be okay.

It is tough to recognize beliefs that are not serving us today. It can be difficult to change our thinking and to believe that we are enough. But when we do, we can change our world. So what programs have been difficult for you?

Criticism

Something happened today that I found interesting. It was interesting because it brought up some old mental programming that I thought I had gotten over. I had some people close to me teasing me about being healthy and eating clean foods, and working out. And I took it personally, and let it affect my mood. I found myself withdrawing and going back to my old programming that I wasn’t good enough, and that I wasn’t important. It was interesting because I knew they were just teasing me, but I was taking it to heart.

This was a good lesson for me to see my reaction to this teasing, to see there is a small part that still has a sensitivity to what others say, to see that I am still susceptible to my old ways of thinking. You see, I still care, I still am concerned about what others say. However, I recognized this and I realized that it is not my concern to please others. I am my own woman, and it is up to me to live my dreams. So, take this to heart, and look at your own life and see where you are maybe listening to others where it is not benefiting you, and maybe where you are letting others’ opinions hold you back. You do you!

A Thing

I did a thing today!! I finally finished something that I have been wanting to do for a while, for months actually. And to be honest, it has been in the back of my mind for a couple of years. I made a painting with an inspirational quote!

Yes, that’s it. I painted a canvas, and painted some stenciled letters on it, and there you go-an inspirational canvas. So, why did this take me so long to finish? Well. . . once the idea came to me, I bounced around the false belief that I was not very creative, that I didn’t know how to do something creative like that, and that I didn’t have the time to look into doing something creative like that. Then, after a couple years of thinking this, I thought, maybe I could give it a try. I don’t have terrible handwriting, and I could keep it simple and write a saying on a piece of colored paper and then stick it in a picture frame. However, at the first words of feedback that I perceived as negative, I became completely discouraged, and sank into despair that I did not have it in me. Then, I found a way that was a little more colorful and creative, but still didn’t get the positive feedback I was looking for. So, I set it aside for a couple of months, and just stopped.

Then, one day, I was talking with a friend of mine who was completely supportive of my idea, and had some great feedback for getting the lettering to look nice. But the key was, having a fun night with a dear friend, and letting go and enjoying myself when I discovered that I have a little talent with painting. It just clicked! This was what I had been looking for! So, I bought some paints, and some stencils, and voila! A masterpiece!

Now, I am no Rembrandt or Da Vinci, but there is something to be said for how I feel to have completed something I dreamed of doing, but wasn’t quite sure I could. I have always wanted to believe that I am creative, but I didn’t see it in myself. And it makes me wonder what other beliefs about myself might not be completely accurate. Like, where else am I limiting myself? And what about you? Do you have any dreams that are sitting by the wayside waiting to be picked up? Or ways that you continue to limit yourself? It’s time to set yourself free!

Goals

It’s Jan 1, 2020! The start of a new year, a new decade. What do you think of New Year’s Resolutions? I have always found it a little disappointing that so many people make resolutions on Jan 1st only to follow through with them for about a week or two (or maybe even a month) only to drop them by the wayside when other things come up, or it gets difficult, or the next level of Candy Crush comes out. It is humorous how many people you see in the gyms and fitness centers for about the first 2 weeks of the year. Where are they all in April? Or September?

So, should we just not set resolutions and give up? I like to set goals, but only ones that I intend to keep. I am cautious about what I commit to, so that I can be careful to keep my word, especially to myself.

My goals for this year are to continue to pursue my dreams and my passions, to put out positive energy, to attract the things I want in my life, and to let go of anything or anyone that is not serving me on my journey. I have spent this past year preparing my mind and myself personally to go out and get what I want this year. I am so ready to change and create my better life!

My goal is to post on this blog site or to make a FB video every day for the next 30 days. My goal is to keep working out at least 4 times a week for the next 30 days. And to continue to eat clean foods for the next 30 days.

I always love the start of a new year because it symbolizes a new beginning, a fresh start, a clean slate. It excited me to have a time for new starts. Let’s just stick to it!

Things I have learned

I have learned a few things this past year as I have gone on this personal growth journey, and I would like to share.

  1. How to take a compliment: I used to look for affirmation from others around me, and got incredibly good at looking like I had it all together. I knew how to do my hair, and what clothes looked good, and what to say to make people feel good about themselves, so I was well liked and admired. I would get compliments from people frequently, however, I never knew how to take them because I felt that I didn’t deserve them. As much as I looked for others’ approval, I didn’t accept it, and therefore, never knew how to just say, “Thank you” and accept what they were saying as true and valid. I have learned that I am enough and I am worthy, and so I have learned to take a compliment for what it is with gratitude and thankfulness.
  2. How to affirm myself: I have learned that I am enough! I am worthy, I am deserving, I am confident and capable, and I have everything I need inside me. I have learned that the thoughts I put in my head and the words I communicate are what will create my future. I have learned to speak and believe that I am an incredible goddess with unlimited potential, and to start living like that. I learned that it is time that I started showing up for myself, and that I am good enough for me, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I AM ENOUGH!!
  3. How to stop apologizing: I don’t have to live in the guilt, I don’t have to live in the ‘shoulds,’ and I don’t have to live by anyone else’s standards. I answer to my own conscience, and I am creating my amazing, better life. I am living in the moment, and putting out love and light, and there is nothing I need to be sorry for. I have learned to stop defending myself because it is just a way to justify myself, and it is unnecessary. I am enough all on my own, today, right now, in this moment!
  4. How to let go of the guilt: Living in guilt means living in some other moment than right now. I have learned to live in this moment, to be present, to live and love the moment I am in right now. ‘To be’ means to surrender to what is, to accept the uncertainty of life, and to give in to the unknown. And since doing this, I have had incredible freedom-freedom to enjoy the moment, freedom from expectations, freedom from guilt.
  5. How to persist: I have learned that nothing worth having comes easily. If I want anything to change, I will keep at it, and keep at it, and keep at it some more. I will fall, and get back up, I will continue to persist, and to rise again, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I will continue to fill my mind with my dreams and goals, and will not give up. I will not take No for an answer, I will not listen to the naysayers, and I will not let the opinions of others dictate my happiness. I will pursue my passion, and I will create the life I want.

I am creating my Better Life, and I am creating it now!!