Uncertain Times

So where do you stand on this whole coronavirus thing? I waver between full-on panic, zombie apocalypse/it’s the end of the world type of response, and wanting to run away to a deserted island where no one will find us for years to come. And the truth is, reality is somewhere in the middle.

This past week has seen changes from what we considered normalcy to a completely different world. And all in just a few day! For us, the kids were on spring break, and we were planning for future fun and outings; and now we are all sequestered inside, except for me who works as a nurse, and is still needed in the hospital. We went from a carefree life to one of constant concern. And for me, seeing the changes first hand it is a little disconcerting.

You see, in the hospital, we were carrying on patient care one day, and the next we were being told that there would be screening tents outside and that we should call all patients that don’t need to be coming into the clinic right now, and tell them to stay home. And then each day, it was a new message, and more people with the virus. And as more and more things began to close, and businesses began to struggle, it was easy for the fear to set in.

So for me, last week was an emotional roller coaster with a couple days of slight depression where I let the fear take over, and did some processing of my feelings.

Thank God for my family, and for the support I have from my husband who kept telling me everything was going to be okay. Then, over the weekend, I was able to have a couple days away from the hospital, and get out into some fresh air, and enjoy the beautiful nature around me, and I was able to start a new mental perspective about things. I found some great talks that I listened to that were uplifting, and looked around me and realized I have so much to be grateful for. I do have work right now, when my husband doesn’t anymore. I do have healthy kids and a loving husband who are supportive of me. I do have the power and control to say what will control my thoughts and my mind. I do have a lot to offer that will help and encourage others to find their better life. I do have friends around me who love me and encourage me. I do have so many opportunities to thrive.

And just like that, when I changed my mental perspective, my whole outlook changed, my feelings changed, and my energy changed. I saw a change when nothing outside of me changed, but everything inside of me did. I still don’t know how we are going to pay all of our bills, or when the kids will go back to school, or what is going to happen tomorrow; but instead of resisting what is, I decided to surrender and I received so much peace. (Let’s see if I can keep this up!) LOL! I am a work in progress, but an incredible work nonetheless.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s